The Vagina and the Pineapple: A Fairytale

Girl talk! I know that just about every one of us has heard some poppycock story about how vaginas smell like fish naturally. And we’ve all seen the ads that boast some chemical douche that’ll make your vagina smell like roses and taste like a jellybean. Here’s the thing: our yonis are very delicate. They absolutely must maintain a moderately acidic pH level between 3.8 and 4.5. This is to ward off infection, keep away itchiness, and just keep your vagina healthy and happy.

It’s a fun fact that what we eat has a huge effect on our vaginas: how they smell, how they taste, and how they feel. For example, pungent smelling foods like garlic, can make you smell more pungent. Everything that affects the smell of urine or sweat is going to do the same to the smell of your vagina. But foods also affect its pH. Eating a lot of acid forming foods like chocolate, coffee, meat, cheese, artificial sweeteners, peanuts, blackberries, most beans, and potatoes, can make your vagina too acidic. Similarly, alkaline forming foods like asparagus, lemons, papaya, and olive oil eaten in excess can make your vagina too alkaline. That is no good!

Pineapple is one of those fruits that can safely boast a boatload of benefits. For example, eating pineapple can help to maintain a healthy pH. It is a slightly alkaline forming food that can help to offset the highly acidic diet of many people. I myself enjoy multiple people’s fair share of chocolate! Now, a maintained pH will be good for every part of your vagina’s health, but pineapples have a special gift: bromelain, which can help to make your vagina smell and taste amazing!

Where’s the proof? Well, I’ll level with you, there are no scientific studies being done on this subject. Or at least no conclusive evidence, but a healthy vagina automatically tastes and smells better. That being said, I am not the first and definitely am not the last person to swear by the pineapple’s power as a nice little “refresher”. 

Let me just tell you why I swear by it. Personal experience!

For the past three years I have ingested a serving or two of pineapple nearly every day. And every sexual partner I have had in the time hasn’t made one peep about any sort of fishiness. They’ve actually raved about the way I taste! I’d call that a win.  Now, a quick note: unless you already have an extremely healthy diet, don’t smoke, don’t drink coffee or tea, pineapple isn’t going to make you taste like candy. But it will definitely make you taste sweeter.

And this magical fruit doesn’t just do this with women. It also makes sweat smell better and sperm taste sweeter. In fact, at home studies conducted around the world have shown a direct correlation between pineapple consumption and sweeter tasting sperm. So, don’t be afraid to share this little trick with your man. It’ll be good for you too!

Surprisingly, that’s not even close to all that pineapple can do! It really is a miracle fruit! The high fiber content in pineapples helps to maintain healthy digestion. Antioxidants make pineapple your skin’s best friend. You can eat it to see the rejuvenation of your skin over time or apply it as a face mask to hydrate and clear your skin. The core of the fruit can help with weight loss, its high calcium levels help to prevent against osteoporosis, and it is extremely rich in vitamins. No doubt, vitamins are just good for you.

As the guardian angel of your reproductive system, the pineapple enhances fertility, prevents against brain defects in unborn children, and supports fetal health.

And of course, there is my favorite one: it is a painkiller! This is why some people experience a numbing sensation in their tongue when they eat it! It is a sensitivity to bromelain, not an allergy. I love this quality of pineapple. Because for some reason, ibuprofen, and all those over the counter painkillers for headaches and menstrual cramps just don’t work on me. They never have. Pineapple though, has definitely taken the edge off the monthly lower back pain when Aunt Flo comes to visit. 

Let’s face it: it’s simple. Pineapple is good for you! It keeps you healthy, beautiful, and takes away pain, plus it tastes sweet and delicious! So why wouldn’t you eat as much of it as you can?